


all my luck (could change)

by OfTheDirewolves



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Found Family Vibes, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), M/M, Minor Margo Hanson/Alice Quinn, Minor William "Penny" Adiyodi/Kady Orloff-Diaz/Julia Wicker, Mythology References, Quentin Coldwater & Julia Wicker - Freeform, The Magicians Season 4 Ending Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28645713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfTheDirewolves/pseuds/OfTheDirewolves
Summary: Eliot's world turned to ash the moment he saw the greyed out key on his arm. Quentin was dead, his soulmate was dead and he didn't know how to cope.Margo is struggling with the loss of one best friend and the fear of losing another.With a hint of the old myths and some help from an unexpected place, can they get back the happiness they thought was lost for good?(A Queliot Soulmate AU + S4 Fix it.)
Relationships: Margo Hanson/Alice Quinn, Quentin Coldwater & Margo Hanson & Eliot Waugh, Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 7
Kudos: 68
Collections: Parts of One Whole - The Magicians Soulmate Collection, Peaches and Plums Stockings 2020





	all my luck (could change)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freneticfloetry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freneticfloetry/gifts).



> First of all, I cannot believe I actually finished in time go me! 
> 
> Thank you to Kate as always for the fact that I keep throwing her these long ass fics like please look it over and make it readable. 
> 
> Title from "Need the Sun to Break" by James Bay  
> \--
> 
> Okay so this is set right after season 4 but there are some changes, most will be mentioned in the story but I’ll point them out.
> 
> Qualice did not get back together, there was no bonfire or “deluxe package” where Penny said all that nonsense. 
> 
> He was the one to greet Quentin but he didn’t push him to move on or be like your friends will thrive without you. Because that’s nonsense and the real Penny would never.
> 
> I don’t explain it in the story but Liam refers to 23 because he deserves a name.
> 
> \--  
> So this was a stocking fic for my darling Courtney. I saw soulmates on your list and got inspired... it obviously got away from me 
> 
> Hope you like it darling!! 
> 
> (TW: for the usual subjects, mentions of Quentin's depression and suicide in season 4)

Too late too late too late

_He’s too fucking late_

And now Quentin is gone.

Eliot had fucked up beyond reason and now there is nothing he could do.

Except stare aimlessly at the four walls around him, try not to flinch whenever someone jumped as he went into a room.

Wait for the day when he’ll be healed enough to go back to his apartment. The penthouse gives him the creeps. Not only does his body see and feel the echoes of the monster but the experience is off.

It’s all bad.

But Margo doesn’t trust him being alone. Which he understood. Her vines were half grey, half green. She doesn’t want to chance them going fully gray.

But Eliot would never do that to her.

No matter how much it hurts to look at the grey key and remember how it looked just a few days ago. It seemed like so long ago now. He’d been trapped in his head waiting for his friends to get him out, finding out what he could, and hanging out with memory versions of Quentin and Margo.

(Ora mostly left him alone those last days — like she knew he needed to be able to pretend like he wasn’t trapped)

The key had a golden silhouette and the colors were the hues of peaches and plums. It had given him comfort and reminded him that he was an idiot all in the same measure.

The truth is that his soulmate tattoo had always been confusing. What was a key in his forearm supposed to tell him? He kept it glamoured most of the time — after all, it was his soulmate mark. He didn’t need anyone asking questions. To be honest, during most of second year he forgot it was there.

He’d stopped hiding his vines after the trials happened. People assumed he didn’t have a romantic soulmate and well he thought so too at first. It wasn’t until that night that he saw the key on Quentin’s forearm.

He should have said something back then — he knows that now. But Quentin had been dating Alice and after the threesome, he’d been pissed at them. Eliot had convinced himself that he hadn’t seen what he thought he had. That Quentin had a similar mark but not the same. After all, they’d been drunk on alcohol and emotion magic and brains were notorious for misremembering.

Then Fillory happened and the Beast.

Alice’s death.

Quentin had been heartbroken and his vines had turned blue. _niffin blue._

(The same tint as Margo’s crown tattoo but that was neither here nor there).

Eliot remembers those days, he was too focused on Fillory, Margo was pretending like she was okay (they both knew otherwise), Quentin had gone back to Earth. ~~It had stung.~~ But the green vines on his body were still green so at least he knew they were physically okay.

(He ignored the fact that his key was almost fully shaded in)

Soulmates were a magicians only event. Not just classical magicians but casters, hedges, and other ones as well. The saying went if you had magic you had a soulmate.

Young Eliot had thought it was mostly all talk. He’d thought it was a fantasy. It was among the first things he found out about as he searched for magic.

But never believed it.

(Not even as a green vine seemed to grow a little more each other and with every use of magic)

(Easy to say the first spell he truly learned was how to hide it)

Then he got to New York freshly out of high school.

(He’d snuck out at the middle of the night while everyone was at the graduation party. He’d taken the few things that mattered to him, his music, his grandmother’s recipe book, and a quilt that was the only gift his mother had ever given him.)

(She hadn’t made it, his grandma had, but she’d kept it for him for safekeeping and given it to him when he was 15, a few months after her death.)

He had a scholarship for college and thankfully it covered housing. A year into his degree he got a job busing tables at a restaurant. Very aspiring actor of him.

That’s where he found his mentor. Veronica Meadows, V, was a hedge who helped him control his magic. She was the one that taught him that soulmates were real.

It doesn’t have a name, there’s no eye color or timers. There’s no words that appear on your body.

Just a line in a specific color that grows like vines from your heart to some part of your body. The tattoo starts to form the moment you do magic.

And there’s different sorts. The way it had been explained was that there were platonic soulmates that were represented in the vines.

And then your romantic soulmate was represented as a specific design.

Some people just got a romantic soulmate, others a platonic. You could have both, you could have neither.

(There were multiple explanations for the last one, maybe your soulmate wasn’t magical, maybe they had died before you discovered magic, maybe it wasn’t reciprocated.)

The moment you met your soulmate the design would be etched on your body. The more you got to know them the design would fill out and be complete when you realized you loved them.

Eliot had mostly blown it off.

He didn’t need a soulmate and didn’t want one.

(Mostly he didn’t want to force anyone to be with him)

And yet it had been Margo’s equal green vines that had made them choose each other for the trials. Both of them had just had the vines, no designs or anything.

But they had each other and that was what mattered.

When a certain nerd came into their lives and had the same green vines Eliot was sure it was a sign.

And yet he didn’t listen.

He _should_ have listened.

And now it is too fucking late.

His eyes well up with tears again, all he seems to do is cry. Everything hurts.

And he just knows things will never be okay again.

* * *

Margo can hear the sobs from the other side of the door. Lipson had told Eliot that he couldn’t do magic for the first few weeks as his body healed from the monster, the librarians, the axe…

But she’s sure that even if he could do magic he wouldn’t have the presence of mind to do it — so she does the wards for him and so the sound quiets.

He deserves his privacy after all (and just hearing it breaks Margo’s heart all over again).

“How is he?”

Margo turns to see Alice Quinn looking worriedly at Eliot’s door. It’s curious — she’s been mad at her for a while now. Mad at her for betraying them, mad at her for everything that happened. When the truth is that she’s always felt a bit of guilt for what happened to Alice.

(Alice is her soulmate after all — and wasn’t that a kick when she figured it out?)

But right now Alice is one of the few people who understands. She was Quentin’s just as much as Margo was. People don’t usually talk about platonic soulmates do they? And yet that doesn’t make their pain any less. Margo looks at Alice and can see the greyed-out vine that used to be copper and blue.

(Just like Margo’s used to be green and now is the same shade of grey.)

(Margo is really starting to really loathe the color grey.)

“I haven’t gone in today — I know I should but I kind of can’t face him?”

“When was the last time you left the penthouse?”

“When we brought Eliot in…. I think,” Margo says and finds she truly cannot remember.

Kady and Julia have mostly taken care of getting food. 23 — no… He did them a solid so Margo should call him by his name. _Liam_ got Eliot’s clothes and their things from Brakebills (Eliot had a panic attack walking into the cottage — it’s why they’re in the penthouse). Margo has mostly been researching and watching over Eliot.

“Yeah we’re going out,” Alice says, “Look you gave him the potion yesterday and the dosage lasts for 72 hours. You need a break.”

“Fine,” Margo says and leaves a note on the island counter just in case he leaves the bedroom — he won’t — but it makes her feel better.

They walk out to the cold New York air.

Margo realizes she doesn’t remember the last time she was alone with just Alice Quinn. There was always someone else there, usually Eliot ~~or Quentin~~. When was the last time they were alone together?

Margo is actively trying to remember and all she can think is Alice’s first year but that can’t be true can it?

They stop at a coffee shop two blocks from the penthouse. Margo gets a coffee and a sandwich while Alice gets some kind of caramel frappuccino and a croissant with chocolate inside. Alice Quinn’s sweet tooth is still pretty much the same.

The thought makes her laugh.

It’s weirdly comforting.

“What?” Alice asks, “Do I have something on my face.”

“No it’s just — the only thing that hasn’t changed is your sweet tooth apparently.” “Oh,” Alice says, “I guess not.” And then she starts laughing as well. They laugh for a few minutes and then Margo remembers.

“God we should probably not be laughing right now.” “Maybe, but you look like you needed it.” “Did I ever,” Margo says and then sighs before taking a bite of her sandwich.

“It’s not your fault.”

“What?”

“What happened to Quentin — it wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that,” Margo says.

“And yet you feel guilty.”

“I don’t feel guilty,” Margo argues and Alice quirks and eyebrow, “I mean.. truly I don’t… for the most part but there is that tiny 5%.”

Alice looks at her and Margo sighs again, “There is that stupid part of me that keeps yelling that if it wasn’t for the stupid wolf I would have _noticed something._ I would have done _something._ And Quentin would still be here — my best friend would not be completely shattered. I wouldn’t have to stare at the fucking grey vines. They _taunt_ me. They’re a constant reminder that I failed.”

“You didn’t fail Margo,” Alice says, “You were technically brainwashed.”

“I saw him covered in blood and I didn’t say anything. You didn’t see him Quinn… he looked bad, there was blood everywhere but I couldn’t deal… and the stupid vines were no help because it was a muted color and I didn’t know if it was because his body was alive or what the fuck was going on… and I just needed a win.”

“There was no way you could have known,” Alice says, putting her hand above Margo.

“I thought I was in love with _Hoberman_ Alice… that is truly the lowest I’ve sunk,” Margo says, “I should have known… I mean I knew he wasn’t…”

“Your soulmate?” Alice asks

“Yeah.”

“I’ve known who my soulmate is since the quest,” Margo admits quirking a brow.

“Me too — since I came back at least,” Alice says.

So they both know the other is their soulmate but neither wants to admit it. Margo is definitely not going to be the one to say it.

“But like even if I hadn’t known — I should have suspected something was off right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Quentin sent word that Eliot was alive and the first I did wasn’t immediately go to the portal… no I fucked _Josh._ Then when I had my axes I gave one of them to Liam and stayed home to bake and watch a fish… A fish! I stayed home from saving _my soulmate’s life_ to watch a fucking fish.”

“I did think that was fucking weird.”

“I hate baking — truly…. Eliot is the one that loves baking not me..I was basically a 50s housewife.”

“You weren’t yourself — less reason for you to blame yourself.”

“I could say the same to you.”

“It’s different,” Alice says shortly.

“No it’s not.”

“I was myself, I spent the last few days with him — I heard the speech he gave to the fucking plant. He went there for _me_ because it made _me_ nervous... And I didn’t see it.”

“Technically neither did Wicker or Liam and they spent a lot more time with him than either of us.”

“What a fucking mess.”

“You can say that again,” Margo mutters, “I want to blame Fogg can we blame Fogg for this too?”

“Better than blaming ourselves,” Alice points out.

“Good point,” Margo says and they clink their glasses.

“You know what is shitty?”

“What?"

“I’m mad at him.”

“Fogg?” Margo asks but Alice just stares, “Right.”

“He said we were a team, we were finally going to figure out this stupid friendship thing and then he made me… he made me watch _that_ — he had Liam take me away. I hate that I feel like I can’t be angry because he’s dead, he killed himself. But I’m still fucking pissed.”

Margo squeezes Alice’s hand.

“Can we change the subject? How’s your dewolfing going?” Alice asks

Dewolfing — the main thing Margo had been currently researching. The effect the wolf had on her brain had gone away the moment Quentin had died. Margo had been awaiting news on Eliot’s surgery and waiting for the rest to come back from the Seam.

And then she’d _felt_ it.

More pain than she’d felt ever before and her vines had burned as if they were on fire. Later on she’d realize it was because Quentin burned away until there was nothing left. But at the moment she hadn’t understood. It turns out that the pain of losing a soulmate — even a platonic one — was enough to defeat the wolf pheromones that had taken over her head.

She’d gotten a massive headache and had passed out. Margo had woken up in a hospital room lying on a couch while an unconscious Eliot lay a few feet away.

Lipson had explained it all — or as much as she could understand. Apparently being turned on the Happening had after effects, and sired wolves ended up devoted to their sires. Hence the weird Hoberman shit.

(She’d sent a bunny that if she ever saw him again she’d cut off his favorite appendage, ~~not that he knew what to do with it~~ )

(Logically she knew there was a big chance that he didn’t know but she still saw red… and the anger was better than the grief...especially since she had to break the news to Eliot)

Telling Eliot had been…

There were no words to actually describe it. If her heart hadn’t already been broken by their nerd’s death, Eliot’s expression would have done it.

He’d looked at her with so much hope and then she’d had to tell him the worst news of his life. But she knew it had to be her that told him. She still remembers how he’d frantically looked at his arm and how he broke when he saw the grey key.

The time key.

Margo would have recognized it anywhere, ~~she’d dug up a body to get it after all.~~

(She didn’t want to think about the fact that it was one of the only times she’d seen her best friend’s soulmark.)

The days after that had been a blur. They couldn’t have a funeral because there was no body and Eliot wasn’t in any shape to move.

It had been hard enough getting him in the penthouse.

So they kept putting off the funeral —Margo suspected that they all wanted to pretend… if there was no funeral he wasn’t dead right?— and then they all threw themselves into different things.

For Margo that had been researching a way to remove the last traces of werewolf.

There had been a lot of dead ends.

But recently there was a bit of hope.

“Liam is getting the ingredients for the potion, we’re hoping that it works this time.”

“Do you want help?” Alice asks and Margo looks at her, it can’t hurt right? “I’d like that,” Margo says and then they go back to eating their lunches.

The silence is comfortable — it reminds her of second year in Eliot’s attic room with Quentin and Eliot. She painted Quentin’s nails, Eliot cuddled and Quentin read out loud. It had been the closest Margo had come to feeling at home.

She missed that.

It wouldn’t be the same with Alice but maybe they could build something? They are soulmates after all.

* * *

Eliot knows he should venture out of the bedroom to get some food and maybe some ibuprofen — his latest crying jag had left a bit of a headache — but he couldn’t stand the pity.

They all stared at him with _pity_.

Like he was the cautionary case.

What happens when someone loses their soulmate.

There’s also the very awkward laugh they make when they are surprised to see him. Like they momentarily forget he’s not the monster. He’s aware he still looks like the monster — which doesn’t help — but he hasn’t been able to bring himself to cut his hair.

He did get rid of the clothes though, as if Eliot would ever be caught dead in novelty t-shirts. That’s still one of the most insulting things about this whole bullshit. 23 — Liam, he should get used to the guy’s actual name — had brought him his own clothes from Brakebills.

They’re what he’s currently wearing but they don’t feel like him anymore.

It took him so long to perfect the persona of Eliot Waugh and this god-like creature had thrown it all in the garbage in just a few months.

(The worst part is that he finds he can’t fully blame the monster for all the bullshit, it’s not like he asked to get made.)

Seeing through his memories had definitely brought up certain feelings. He hates the blood and the nightmares but sadly the glimpses of memory are the only ways he sees Quentin.

Pathetic isn’t it?

He eyes the cane next to the bed and is considering whether the hassle is worth it when the door opens.

Margo comes in and she has a plate of food and a bottle of ibuprofen.

(These are the reasons he loves his Bambi.)

“I thought you might be hungry — don’t worry I didn’t cook.”

“Then who?” Eliot starts to ask

“Alice and I got it from a cafe.”

“Ah… thanks,” Eliot says and then scoots over as well as he can for Margo to join him on the bed.

Margo does and hands him the sandwich which he tentatively takes a bite out of. “It’s not bad,” Eliot says and Margo gives him a soft smile. “I won’t ask how you are because it’s a stupid question.”

“No kidding.”

“But I do have to ask how is the physicality,” Margo says pointing at the leg, Eliot shrugs.

“Some days are better — today is not exactly one of them. It took a while to move… to this position,” Eliot admits.

“Pain scale?”

“To 10?” Eliot asks and Margo nods, “7.4 right now.”

“I could get Lipson to give me the pain pills.”

“I don’t…”

“I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“He… he went through withdrawal because of pills — I don’t want to risk it… not this soon.”

Eliot doesn’t mention the Quentin of it all. How Quentin had stood up to the monster and made him stop taking the pills. If Eliot got addicted — it would feel like shitting on Quentin’s hard work. He couldn’t do that to him.

“What if there’s natural or magical remedies — without opioids,” Margo suggests.

“I’ll think about it.”

“El..”

“I don’t mind the pain — it reminds me I’m alive,” Eliot says and Margo looks crushed by that, “don’t look at me like that… it’s not... “

“Then explain it to me — I want to understand,” Margo says putting her hand over his.

“I didn’t feel anything in there — good or bad,” Eliot explains after a moment of silence, “I tried once or twice… nothing major just small cuts — but _nothing_ hurt. It was all the same. The pain both the emotional and the physical reminds me that I made it out.”

“Oh,” Margo says.

“Of course that mostly leads to thinking about….”

“I know baby,” Margo says.

“Did it hurt this much with you? I feel like I’m constantly torn apart,” Eliot mutters.

Margo sighs and looks at him. They both know exactly what he’s referring to. When Alice niffined out.

“No,” Margo says plainly, “But the situations weren’t the same.”

“Because of the niffin?” Eliot asks

“Well that’s probably part of it — Alice was neither dead or alive — but I think the progress is important.”

“Progress?”

“When Alice died... I barely had a silhouette of a crown with a few details — I’m not saying it didn’t hurt because it did and I felt unmoored for a bit there. But Alice and I… we cared about each other despite everything. But we were barely friends at the moment of her death. You and Q… it’s different.”

Eliot sits with that — it honestly makes sense. If he thought about it logically he could have probably come up with the same answer.

But at the same time it is so lonely.

Margo and Alice might partially understand with their greyed out vines but they couldn’t fully comprehend. Margo doesn't even know about the mosaic.

“We had a family.”

“El?”

“The time key quest,” Eliot says

“Your soulmark,” Margo says and Eliot nods looking at the spot where the key is, he’d covered it up earlier with his sleeve.

“We remember everything — we don’t know how or why but we remember.”

“Oh..”

“We were together and we were happy — I’ve never been that happy before… We had a son whose name was Teddy and I loved him Bambi..”

“Oh El,” Margo says putting an arm around him, “You don’t have to…”

“I do — we had kids and grandkids and we were in love… and then I fucked it all up.”

“What happened?”

“We were under the wedding arch and he wanted to try again… He argued that we had proof of concept. That we knew that it could work because it already had… and I …”

“You got scared.”

It’s at moments like these that Eliot remembers how well Margo knows him. And how thankful he is for that.

“I was cruel and scared, so I self-sabotaged and I pushed him away… I hurt him.”

“Do you know why?”

“It seemed too good to be true.”

“He’s your soulmate El — he always has been.”

“I thought he’d come to regret it, that he was stuck with me again… I listened to my head instead of my heart.”

Margo doesn’t know what to say so she just hugs him tightly.

“I was supposed to make things right — I was finally going to be brave…”

“You will be… we’ll figure it out okay?”

Eliot nods and then leans into the hug again.

“I miss him so much.”

“I miss him too,” Margo admits and they just stay there cuddling for a few minutes. Just commiserating together.

“Your spell is tomorrow right?”

“Hm?”

“The one you were talking about — to remove the wolf?”

Margo looks surprised and Eliot momentarily feels bad at it — he needs to get better at being there for her. He’s not the only one that’s suffering after all.

“Yeah it’s tomorrow — Liam got the water from the torrent, Kady got the other things and Alice is going to help with casting.”

(Julia didn’t have much power yet, Liam had managed to get into her head and ask for her choice and she’d chosen demigoddess… but since it was something new to her body she needed to adjust. Start with a few small spells first and build up. Especially since she’d been possessed and all that. So Julia had been primarily on research duty these days.)

“I wish I could help you,” Eliot says, and he finds that he truly means it.

“I know El — but just another week on your mandated magic break… you’re helping me by taking care of yourself.”

Eliot nods and continues eating his sandwich. He is trying, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

The spell goes off without a hitch — thankfully. At least there’s that.

They get one fucking win.

Eliot couldn’t participate but he saw it happen, Alice and Kady took the lead with help from Liam while he and Julia watched from the sidelines.

There was a current that shook the penthouse and that’s how they knew Margo was fixed. There was no wolf or threat of wolf anymore. She was once again a normal magician.

Eliot is happy for her — _truly_. But he feels like the happiness ship has sailed for him. It was carved out the moment Quentin died. And so he leaves them to their celebrating and goes back to the bedroom where Quentin used to be, trying to feel even the slightest connection to the man he loves.

The week passes in a blur again — Lipson clears him for magic. His leg is still an issue but his magic has finally settled.

Which means he can finally do the one thing he’s wanted — he’s going to get Quentin back.

* * *

Margo comes back from her standing lunch da— thing with Alice to find Eliot in the living room with books all around him.

He and Julia are talking about something and she’s got a whiteboard she’s taking notes on.

Margo doesn’t know what part is weirder, that he’s out of his room or that he’s talking to _Julia._

Margo guesses they do have a bit in common, the whole possession bit and the Quentin shaped hole in their lives.

“What’s going on?” Margo asks

“Bambi! You’re back! Good..” Eliot says, “How was your non date with Alice?”

“It’s just lunch.”

“Sure it is,” Eliot smirks at her and Margo is almost thrown by the normality of it all. She hasn’t seen this version of Eliot in …. too long.

Between the problems in Fillory and the Monster and then — _Quentin…_

Margo had thought this Eliot had been lost to her for good.

“You sound cheery.”

“I think we might have found it! 3 days of research.”

“And one all-nighter,” Julia points out.

“And one all nighter!” Eliot agrees.

“Sweetheart— you’re not making much sense you’re going to have to use your words,” Margo points out.

“Q! We found it Bambi! We found the way to get Quentin back.”

“We think,” Julia says.

“What?” Margo asks quietly.

Eliot grabs his cane and goes towards her.

“It could work! It could actually work Bambi… we could get him back,” Eliot mutters,

“I just… don’t want you to get hurt again if it doesn’t... “ Margo trails off.

“We have to try, we have to believe that it can work, that good things can come from magic and not just bad stuff.”

At that moment Margo can see herself sitting on the stairs next to Quentin, she can hear him saying “ _why can’t it run on love”_ and she finds herself starting to tear up.

“Margo?” Eliot asks worriedly.

“I’m fine you just… you sounded so much like Quentin right there.”

Eliot smiles at that, as does Julia.

“He always believed that magic could help things, be better than it was — so why don’t we prove him right?” Eliot says, wiping the tear from her face.

Margo smiles and pretends like she wasn’t crying a moment ago as she heads towards the white board.

“So what is this plan that got you two all excited?”

“Orpheus,” Julia says.

“I’m going to need more than that Wicker,” Margo adds.

“While we were looking for our Lady and then during the Monster I remembered coming across a few things about Orpheus — you remember the story right?”

“Yeah Orpheus was a famous musician, fell in love with Eurydice and she died so he went to the Underworld and petitioned Hades and Persephone. Persephone was so moved by his song that she allowed him to get his love back but only if he could trust that she was following him. The idiot turned to look at the last second and fucked it up.”

“Pretty much,” Julia says.

“Yeah it sounds great but you’re forgetting 1. Persephone is dead and 2. Hades hates us because of it. He’d never allow it.”

“You’re right — if we went to Hades he’d never in a million years say yes especially not to Eliot,” Julia agrees.

“Doesn’t that put us back in square one?” Margo asks confused, why did they look so happy about the idea of being rejected by Hades. She’s definitely missing something.

“Soulmates,” Eliot says.

“What about them?” Margo asks

“That’s our way in — something not even Hades can deny as it supersedes him,” Julia says.

“Well what is it? You two are killing me here with the half answers.”

“Aphrodite,” Eliot says

“Goddess of Love and Beauty,” Margo says.

“The oldest Olympian — older than Hades himself. She’s also the goddess that created the concept of soulmates,” Julia tells her.

“Of course she is.” “The story is not as known because a lot of magicians don’t truly trust the concept of soulmates — they think it was a practical joke or a curse but looking through the books we found this story that claims that they’re actually Aphrodite’s doing. This claims that she sought out the help of Philote and that together they blessed magical beings.”

“Philote?” Margo asks, that’s not a name she’s terribly familiar with.

“She’s a minor primordial goddess — there’s not much about her outside of the fact that she’s the daughter of Nyx and — get this, the personalized spirit of friendship and affection,” Eliot points out, “And maybe even sexual intercourse.”

“Platonic soulmates,” Margo realizes.

“Exactly — It says here they wanted humans who managed to find magic to have an easier way. To get a sign that they were on the right track. Soulmates don’t mean you have to fall in love with the person, it's just that you’re compatible with them. Platonic soulmates are supposed to mean kinship — someone you can have in your corner. While romantic soulmates are more of a sure thing, the platonic ones can be earned apparently? Or well the wording is slightly confusing…. They’re a bit more complex I think.”

“Wouldn’t have expected that,” Margo adds.

“Friends can break your heart as much as lovers can — sometimes more,” Eliot says.

“I always wondered, you know? Ever since I found out about magic,” Julia says taking a seat on the couch, “Quentin and I are lifelong friends so logic would dictate that we’d be platonic soulmates... and like you two? I got that… I felt jealous about it and I feel that clouded my view of you a bit — but I _understood_ it — but Alice Quinn? Why did he have one for her and not for me?”

“I wondered that as well,” Eliot admits.

“At first I thought she was his romantic soulmate you know? That it had just manifested differently but then she said something peculiar.”

“What was it?” Margo asks

“She said it was faint — that she and Quentin had assumed the same while they dated... but that the vines were never truly clear? They were copper but they were never vibrant… Then they were blue when she was a niffin and after she came back they were a mix of blue and copper and,” Julia trails off and laughs a bit, “That they were more vibrant after they fought and she thought they would never reconcile.”

“That is kind of weird,” Margo agrees.

“Has anyone told you two about the day Alice came and saved Quentin’s life.”

“The day of the park,” Eliot says.

“Alice showed up with Quentin’s book and said he was going to get killed by the monster, that he’d get distracted by a dog and in that moment the monster would realize the bloodied stone and kill him.”

“Which is not what happened,” Margo says, although getting distracted by a dog is most definitely a Quentin thing.

“No Alice helped us bleed the stone faster, I don’t know what she and Quentin talked about because I took the monster to the library which is where we found out about the stones. We met up again at the park, they had the blood from the stone and we were about to throw it and banish him..”

“When I showed up,” Eliot says.

“Pretty much — So Quentin obviously didn’t let us. Which we’re thankful about now but Alice — I don’t think she understood it and technically neither did I. Alice told me what they talked about the other day. She says Quentin was harsh with her in a way he’d never been, she’d asked if he was Team Monster and he’d said no _“I’m Team Eliot”_.”

Margo notices how Eliot stares at his tattoo wistfully at that but then she turns back to Julia.

“Alice, she said it was the first time they truly saw each other? Without any blinders just saw each other’s priorities and how Quentin would burn the world to save Eliot, the way she’d seen him do it for her. He hadn’t fully forgiven her for the keys betrayal and sent her on her way. She claimed it was the brightest her vines had been in a long time.”

“What does it have to do with us?”

“Eliot what about your vines — not your tattoo but your vines — when was the first time you connected them to Quentin.”

“A few times but the first time I saw them bright was right after we met, when I told him about Logan and he told me about the hospital, then when the crowning ceremony happened, and Fillory of the past.”

Julia looks at Margo then and there.

“For Eliot it was after the trials, with Q I think during Mentors week and when I told him to go back to help you after the bank heist,” Margo admits.

“We’ve always assumed that they are the marks of ultimate friendship and I think they are in a way. But they’re also about truly seeing the other person as they are not as who you want them to be. Maybe if Q and I had found magic when we were kids we’d have them. But when we both found magic? We hadn’t seen each other for years — _not really._ I know I fucked up with the spell — I can’t explain it now? I was so angry, I’d felt robbed and I wanted him to feel the anguish that I felt. He had left me behind, had a new life and new friends while I was fighting for scraps. I was jealous that he had magic and I didn’t.”

“That was Fogg and Jane though,” Eliot points out.

“I know — I mean I do _now_ but back then I blamed him and then we fought and he brought up the feelings thing which was a dick fucking move. I didn’t owe him shit in that regard.”

“Damn right you didn’t,” Margo agrees.

“So I let my anger get the best of me and did the spell — but I honestly truly did not know it could be permanent. I wanted to hurt him but not kill him. I could never… you believe that right?” Julia looks at Eliot and Margo notices that he sighs and nods.

“I do.”

“After that we never talked about it and then the Beast and Reynard. We got to go to Fillory together and it was the best feeling in my life, stepping into Fillory with him felt like we were 9 again and the world was at our feet. We put everything behind us because we thought we were going to die and then we didn’t — but we still pretended like nothing had happened. Like we were the same as we always were but we’d changed drastically.”

“You kept looking over each other instead of at each other,” Margo says, remembering those last few months of Fillory when she and Eliot had pretty much done the same thing. Hell they had done it since before Fillory. When she failed to notice him spiraling and he hadn’t helped her with the Margolem.

“The truth is that we should have talked about everything. We should have taken a moment to say no this isn’t okay. Because a part of him still blamed me for the spell and a part of me blamed him for the fact that I was locked out of magic for so long. We let the crush come between us and we let assumptions get the best of us. For one thing I thought he was still in love with Alice up until he stood up to the Monster the day with the pills. That was the first time I realized I might not know everything about my best friend. I didn’t ask him about it — just like he didn’t ask about Kady.”

“He really never asked?” Margo asks, surprised. She would have thought Quentin the romantic would have definitely asked his best friend about her soulmate.

To be fair, all Margo knew about the situation was _it’s complicated._

“One time — while we were researching the quest he asked about it, Penny had just died and things with Kady were still awkward. He could see the tattoo on my shoulder and was like Kady huh? and I agreed and that was that. Then we were interrupted and the topic was never brought up again.”

“What is your situation?” Margo asks as they both turn to look at her, “What? I’m curious.”

“Kady has two different marks neither of which are vines,” Julia says, “Well ours has a vine but it’s mostly a tattoo. Penny and I didn’t have marks for each other but we both shared one with Kady. Our three marks were in the same spot. Kady and I might have hooked up while we were working together but then the Gaines thing happened and it got even more complicated. Then I became a goddess and there was no reason to go on with a relationship because I was going to be gone but then the keys and everything. Kady focused on the hedges and I was more about the Monster.”

“Where did Liam come in?” Margo asks

“The other me was his soulmate — and well my soulmate and I were pretty much avoiding each other so we figured hey it could work.”

“It didn’t did it?” Eliot asks

“No — I think in the future Liam and I can be good friends but we both agreed we were looking for something that wasn’t there.”

“At least you didn’t break up with your soulmate knowing they were your soulmate,” Margo comments.

“Yeah who would do that,” Julia says and suddenly they’re both looking at Eliot.

Eliot just glares at them, “I had my reasons and I am aware I fucked up… can we get back to business?”

“Okay so Aphrodite is the one who created soulmates — does that actually help us or is she just like all the other gods we’ve met?” Margo asks

“Major dicks.” Eliot mutters.

“That is the variable,” Julia says, “I’m not sure if we should contact her directly or just invoke her when we’re there?”

“As long as there are no golden apples,” Eliot adds and Margo snorts.

They decide to do more research on Aphrodite to see what the consensus is and well... There’s not much. Either people are more tight-lipped about her or no one really dares to summon her.

Margo personally thinks she’s fascinating. She slept with whoever she wanted and didn’t have to apologize to anyone or give them explanations.

“I think it would take us months to find out how to contact Aphrodite,” Eliot complains.

“What if we ask our inside source,” Margo suggests.

“We have an inside source?” Eliot asks.

“Penny — we could storm his Underworld office and ask nicely about how one would go about contacting the goddess?” Margo says wiggling her eyebrows with a slight smirk that says more than enough.

“How does one even get to the Underworld Branch? Didn’t last time involve some complicated mirror tunnel?” Eliot asks

“Zelda should know— she’s our in.”

“The woman who got Penny killed?” Julia asks

“She’s been hounding Alice — claiming that she wants Alice to take over the library but Alice isn’t interested. But she hasn’t told her no. So we could use that to our advantage — Alice sets up a meeting and we’ll go with her and get from the Underworld library from there. We hound Penny’s office and voila.” “Will Alice help?” Julia asks

“I think so,” Margo answers, she’s getting to know Alice more these days and well there’s no reason to think she won’t agree.

“I’d have to tell Kady about it,” Julia says, “See what she thinks.”

Margo nods and looks at Eliot with a questioning eyebrow, "What do you think? At the end of the day you’re the one that has to do the heavy lifting. The test isn’t about platonic bonds, Julia, Alice and myself — we can’t do that. We can get you to the door and we’ll get you a meeting with the goddess one way or another but the rest is up to you.”

Eliot just looks at her for a minute as he hugs himself, his hands gripping his upper arms before sighing.

“I’m ready.”

“Are you really?”

“I am absolutely terrified that I am going to fuck up what seems to be our only shot at saving the man I love, I am afraid that even if we manage it that he won’t want to come back. I am afraid that he’ll never forgive me for the things I’ve said… I am nervous about all of this riding on my shoulders with my track record for fucking up royally… But for Quentin? I’ll face it all.”

Margo smiles wide and for the first time feels a slight glimmer of hope.

Maybe they can do this.

* * *

It takes them a full two weeks to plan it all, Alice had thought it was a brilliant idea, apparently, but she wouldn’t be Alice Quinn if she didn’t have suggestions. Kady had reached out to Harriet for help and she’d been delighted.

They had all pretended not to hear Kady and Julia arguing for three full days about the Penny part of the plan.

Eliot assumes it’s probably hard to be a part of something like this when Penny seems like he wants to stay down there (which Eliot does not — _cannot_ — even begin to understand).

So there were a few addendums to the plan by the end of it all. Harriet and Alice would ask for a meeting with Zelda. Kady and Liam would stay on the Earth side just in case anything went sideways. Julia, Margo, and Eliot would go with Alice and Harriet, hidden under Alice’s phosphoromancy. Alice had been managed to smaller versions in a few pins that as long as you were wearing them and the spell was active people could not see you.

Then when Zelda came into her office she’d find out the other three would be there too. From then they would ~~bully~~ ask her to lead the trio to Penny’s office in the Underworld. If she said no they’d remind her of the whole “you belong to a fascist organization and were one of the main commanders you don’t really get a say” (Margo’s idea) or I brought back your daughter you owe us (Alice’s idea). If that failed too, they’d remind her that again, she’d technically murdered Penny and they would gladly set Kady loose if she did not help. (Julia’s idea)

Frankly, Eliot thinks they should do all of the above.

And he’s trying not to think too hard about it all.

He holds on tightly to the rings around his neck — he’d found them the day they had started planning, as if they were a sign. And they were. A sign that the life they’d lived had happened, that they were happy once. That they could be happy again.

( _Proof of concept_ )

If Eliot manages not to choke.

“Hey — ready?” Margo asks from the door.

He looks at himself in the mirror for one last time, he’d cut his hair and trimmed his beard. Well Margo had cut the hair but same difference. Eliot looked the most like himself he’d looked in a long time and this was technically a battle — so he had to put his armor on. He grabs his cane and smiles at her.

“Let’s go get our nerd back.”

They link arms and head out of the room where the rest are waiting. They’ve all got small beepers magically set off to go off if any of them needs a Liam rescue. Given their luck Eliot is glad they’re prepared just in case it goes sideways.

Alice looks at them and pins something on each of their shirts, enamel pins of playing cards.

They exchange a look and she shrugs.

“The Fillory books have weird connotations and it’s a lot easier to get pins of playing cards,” Alice says.

“A full house,” Margo smiles as Alice pins an Ace of Clubs into her jacket.

“The highest is a royal flush but I didn’t want to have the king of hearts there,” Alice says and Eliot knows why.

They all know why.

The King of Hearts is known as the Suicide King.

A week after his death Eliot had found Quentin’s deck and it turns out he’d changed the faces to be _their_ faces. Quentin’s had been the King of Hearts. Eliot had broken down crying.

“He’d love these no — he’s going to love this,” Julia says as Alice places the Ace of Diamonds on her sweater.

Then she goes up to Eliot, “I looked it up — it’s the card of love, happiness and celebrations.”

Eliot looks down at the pin of the Ace of Hearts and just nods — he feels he might cry if he says anything so he just smiles at her. A soft smile, that he usually reserves for a few people and thankfully she seems to understand.

(Alice and Eliot have always been similar in very different ways).

Liam has a three of diamonds while Kady has a three of clubs.

All 5 of them make a full house as Margo has said.

“While we’re in the Netherlands and the Library do not take them off and remember they’re not exactly long range so you still have to be close. This is just so it looks less suspicious,” Alice explains, “I am turning them on right now just in case.”

Eliot holds on to Margo’s hand and Julia’s hand. Julia holds on to Kady who is holding on to Liam. Alice is between Margo and Liam. Then just like that they’re in the Netherlands and they head towards the Library.

The last time Eliot was here was when he was running from cannibals — thankfully they seem to have dispersed. They’ve all let go now but they stay close as Alice asks.

Alice leads the charge, Julia right next to her, then it’s Margo and Eliot behind them with Liam and Kady holding up the rear.

They see Harriet at the Library door which is when Kady and Liam take their leave. The rest of them walk in and Alice talks while Harriet signs, if Eliot didn’t know better he’d think it was just a normal conversation. But that was also the point wasn’t it? They couldn’t arouse suspicion before they got to Zelda’s office. The journey seems eternal to Eliot who is practically counting the steps to Quentin.

He’s so close and he knows it.

He’s going to see Quentin today one way or another and the thought of that makes him lose focus on everything else.

Like he’s aware they walked into Zelda’s office, he’s aware they closed the door. Harriet and her mother are having some kind of argument with Alice and Margo butting in. Julia keeps looking over in his direction.

He’s aware of all of that — he just cannot tell you what any of them said because there is a constant loop in his mind going _“Quentin, Quentin, Quentin, Quentin.”_

(If she could read minds, Margo would probably make a joke about how that’s no different than a normal day in Eliot’s life.)

(And well…. _she’s not wrong._ )

“Look it’s because of your organization that things got so fucked up in the first place and I bet you in particular had a hand in things. Probably uglier than we can imagine because you’re librarians you think you’re entitled to everything. I was possessed for _months,_ our lives and the lives of all magicians were screwed over because your fascist organization decided you wanted to control who got magic. If it wasn’t for that, we would have succeeded in bringing magic back — even if the Monster had escaped we would have been prepared. Instead Nigel got attacked while leaving his bar, Brian got kidnapped, Kim had to throw herself at a battery a shitload of times, Alice was trapped without being able to warn anyone and well Janet was just Janet,” Eliot says not even realizing when he started speaking but suddenly they’re all listening, “Penny died an extremely painful death because you lied to him and decided someone you seemed to care about had to die because he broke _your rules._ I kind of don’t want to know how it’s like for those you do not like. I have to walk with a cane because your coworkers sent a few hexes my way and magic can’t exactly heal that… and the worst one? Quentin _died._ Yes he killed himself but your monster of a mentor is at fault. You knew he was a monster, you knew he was hurting hedges and you did _nothing_.”

“I helped with the spell to trap them.”

“It was collaborative magic you weren’t the only one,” Eliot says unimpressed, “Alice saved Harriet’s life yeah and we could be here all day saying nice things or whatever the fuck but the truth is that you owe us… and more specifically you owe Quentin. Also I know you read this — because you have no concept of personal privacy — but I got my magic by accidentally killing my bully at 14. Imagine what I could do at full power, full control, pissed off and quite literally at my wits end when you’re standing in the way of me getting my literal soulmate back.”

You could literally hear a pin drop for the next moment or two. He doesn’t know how the rest reacted as he is focusing solely on Zelda and then he sees a tiny bit of fear in her eyes and her bottom lip quivers.

“There’s a backdoor — humans can go through it without being dead. The elevator doesn’t work if you’re alive but the backdoor does and it leads to an escalator. Down the escalator to the left is the _Secrets Taken to the Grave_ Penny’s office is the 2nd or 3rd door, his name is on the door as William Adiyodi,” Zelda says handing the key to Alice.

“It was truly a pleasure seeing you again,” Eliot says before walking out behind Alice and that time he actually hears Julia snort.

They walk out leaving Harriet and Zelda alone in the latter’s office.

_And then there were four._

They head through the secret passageway Zelda described and sure enough there’s a door that corresponds to the key in Alice’s hand.

“I can’t believe there’s actually an escalator to the Underworld,” Margo mutters, “How very Good Omens of them.”

“What came first, the Library or Good Omens?” Julia wonders and Margo looks at Alice.

“Don’t look at me I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Alice says as they make their way down.

“Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett — it’s a book from the 90s and they just came out with an Amazon Prime show. It's good,” Margo explains.

“When did you have time to watch it?” Julia wonders.

“Okay I saw the first like 30 minutes but I liked what I saw and you can’t go wrong with Tennant as Crowley and Michael Sheen as Aziraphale.”

“That’s true,” Julia agrees.

“Still have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alice says with a roll of her eyes.

“Quentin loved that book,” Eliot says and then looks at Margo,”And I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m not doing anything except going down an escalator and talking about Good Omens.”

But the twinkle in her eye says differently. Margo knows he needed a slight respite between everything and it’s moments like these he’s glad she’s his platonic soulmate. Sometimes she knows exactly what he needs.

“Thank you either way — but I’m good,” Eliot says.

And he’s not actually lying.

The butterflies in his stomach are having a field day and he might draw blood if he bites his bottom lip any harder. He’s anxious and wants to throw up but at the same time he knows they’re on the right track.

He has hope.

Right now? That’s all he needs.

* * *

Margo exchanges a look with Alice and then follows the directions Zelda gave them. Maybe she was trying to lighten the load a bit for Eliot but could you blame her?

If she’s nervous she can’t imagine how he’s feeling.

Finally they arrive at Penny’s office and instead of knocking she just storms right in. Thankfully he is alone.

“What the —” Penny trails off as they all come into view.

Margo should really commend Alice on this spell pins they’re ingenious and she can definitely think of a particular place she’d like to try them out.

But not the point right now.

“Hey Penny did you miss us?” Margo asks

Penny just glares at them but there’s a twinkle in his eye that tells Margo — yes he did miss them.

“I should have guessed you’d show up eventually,” Penny says.

Margo sits down on top of his desk and turns to look at him, “So you’ve been here a bit and probably have some information for us.”

“Oh do I?”

“You do,” Margo says.

“Funny — dumbasses breaking into the Underworld wasn’t on my calendar for today.”

“Technically we used a key,” Alice points out and Penny rolls his eyes.

“So why are you here?” Penny asks

“Quentin,” Eliot answers.

“Yeah I figured that much but what do you intend to do?”

“We need info on a certain goddess and how to get her attention — you know soulmate stuff,” Margo says and Penny sighs then looks at Julia and then at Eliot who has been mostly quiet.

“I can’t help you summon any god or goddess but I can give you the way to Hades’ office. He’s the one that is currently listening to the Orpheus Test petitions, it was Persephone’s domain now it is his,” Penny says and then starts tapping his fingers against the spot where his mark is.

Margo just smirks widely.

“It is truly a pity that you cannot help your old friends with this one request,” Margo says with fake sadness.

“Yeah — but it is above my pay grade,” Penny says, leading them out of his office, “Remember that only one person can petition the Lord of the Underworld and they must fulfill the requirements. Then you make your plea. I’d advise you not to mention other deities while making your plea as they will hear you and you do not want to bother them.”

“I would definitely not want to bother them,” Eliot says, picking up on it.

“Especially if you mention a specific word,” Penny says continually tapping on his soulmark and Eliot actually smiles, “as that is basically a direct line to a goddess in particular and you wouldn’t want that.”

“No, I definitely would not,” Eliot is smiling wide and so is Margo. It’s good to see that behind the suit he’s still very much _their Penny_. It’s comforting.

“It would be a bureaucratic mess to begin with — hierarchies have to be respected and if a god or goddess is called during a plea well they have a right to hear it so it’s double the paperwork..”

“Well thanks for absolutely nothing Penny,” Margo says with a slight smile.

“It was a pleasure to be absolutely no help at all,” Penny remarks, “Tell the nerd I said hi.”

And then Penny turns back and heads back towards his office, Julia follows after him, Margo knows she has a few things to say and she’ll meet them at Hades office.

“This is it — the moment,” Margo says and then hugs Eliot tightly, “I believe in you and so does Quentin okay? Things will be okay.”

Eliot hugs her back just as tightly, “Well no use delaying the inevitable.”

* * *

They knock on the door to find themselves in what looked like a Broadway office with posters on the walls. All of Eliot’s favorites are there, RENT, Catch me if You Can, Hamilton, Wicked… there’s even a _Hadestown_ poster. That has to be ironic right?

“This is so weird,” Margo mutters.

“Hello are you here for an application into the Orpheus test?” the secretary asks them.

“Yes,” Alice says. “I need the applicant to come forward.”

“That would be me,” Eliot says coming to the desk.

“Full name?” “Eliot Waugh, I’m here to apply for the Orpheus test for my _soulmate_ Quentin Makepeace Coldwater. We’re the 40th timeline versions and I fulfill all the requirements for it so that means I’m required at least an audience with Aphrodite — sorry I mean Hades,” Eliot gives her his most charming smile and hopes that Penny’s clues actually work.

Because otherwise, he’s 100% certain Hades will deny his request.

That is when another door opens and the man in question comes out.

“Mr. Waugh and _associates,_ what can I do for you in this fine evening.”

“As I was saying — I’m here to apply for the Orpheus Test, I fulfill all the requirements so that earns me at least an audience to plead my case.”

“One of the requirements is that you need the person in charge to sign off on it and I think you’re a smart man Mr. Waugh — we both know I have no intention of doing that.”

“He still gets to plead his case,” Margo points out, “Those are your rules are they not?”

Eliot is forever thankful that Margo is on his side. She is terrifying and incredible and she knows how to get to the point.

Hades looks like he knows she’s got him and he crosses his arms and leans against the wall with his mouth twisting.

“Fine, you have 5 minutes to argue why I should allow you to proceed to the test.”

Eliot takes a deep breath and looks at him, “I make this plea for my beloved, for my Quentin, who is in actuality my romantic soulmate — a fact for which I thank Aphrodite every day.”

Hades is actually glaring at him so Eliot is thinking he’s actually on the right track, “I lost him before I could even say hello. We’ve been through a lot together and I cannot imagine going on without him in my life. There’s no moving on or thriving. There’s barely breathing. Quentin was young, just in his 20s and he deserved to live. He deserved to love and be loved. To know that people miss him and that he made his mark but more than that… I just want to see him — tell him I love him and that I was a coward before. Promise that I’ll never hurt him like I did before. I want to hug him and feel how perfectly he fits in my arms.”

He knows his voice is shaking and his eyes are welling up with tears but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care who sees. He just wants Quentin.

“I just want my Q back…Please give me the chance to fight for him in the way that he deserves — it’s all I ask.”

Hades has a raised eyebrow and a slight close-lipped smile and Eliot wants to punch him.

“Well I’m sorry but I cannot process your request.”

He doesn’t look the least bit sorry and Eliot just wants to pummel him into the ground and knows without looking that Alice and Margo are thinking the same as him.

“Then it’s a good thing it’s not up to you isn’t it?”

Eliot turns around and there she is, _Aphrodite_. Standing next to a smiling Julia. He can understand why she’s referred to as the most beautiful woman in the world — even if he can’t quite figure out who she reminds him of.

“This is not your jurisdiction — shouldn’t you be tempting some poor mortals or galavanting around?”

“Oh but my dear nephew — this is exactly my jurisdiction as it involves soulmates,” Aphrodite smirks at him, “You know the rules — the moment soulmates are invoked your assistants should have notified me.”

“Perhaps they didn’t want to bother you with something as minor as this.”

“A plea from one of my devoted petitioners could never be a minor thing.”

“He’s not one of yours.”

“Au contraire Eliot Waugh loves deeply and is very reverent when it comes to sexual pleasures — with the life he’s led, I am one of the deities that could claim him, along with Dionysus but I think he’d agree with me here… and in terms of his beloved? Quentin Coldwater loves deeply and believes in love to the point that he thinks magic should run on it. He’s passionate about everything and passion like that definitely gets my favor.”

Margo looks entirely in awe of the goddess and even Alice looks impressed.

“Then there’s the matter of soulmates — which you know is 100% my creation and domain but if you want me can ask someone even higher up? Maybe Aoin? I’m sure they’ll love being bothered with something like this.”

Hades puts on a smile faker than anything Eliot has ever seen.

“Would you like to use my office?”

Aphrodite looks like she’s pretending to think about it, “I think I’ll go to one of the emptier ones but thanks though.”

And then she walks out of the office with Eliot and the girls trailing behind. They arrive at an office and Aphrodite looks directly at Eliot.

“From this point forward only you can come with me — Orpheus is sadly only a one-person test. And I do need to talk to you in private before I decide if you can embark on this quest.”

“I understand,” Eliot says and takes the beeper out of his jacket and hands it to Margo then he moves to grab the pin.

“You can keep that it’s aesthetically pleasing and either way it won’t work where you’d be going so it would be just a pin. I’ll give you a few moments.”

Aphrodite walks into the office and Eliot is left outside with the girls, then Margo is hugging him again. “You get our boy back, you hear me? Tell him we don’t accept any other options. He’s our nerd and he belongs with us,” Margo says.

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Julia asks as she quickly hugs him too. It surprises Eliot a bit but he hugs her back.

“You’ll be able to tell him yourself,” Eliot promises and then looks at Alice.

“I’m not a hugger — tell him to not be an idiot. We need both of you okay?”

“Okay.”

And then he smiles at them and squeezes the rings around his neck as he walks inside. The office looks more like a lounge than an office. There’s a desk but also a couch, almost like a therapist’s office.

“Feel free to take a seat,” Aphrodite says, sitting in a comfortable chaise longue, “It’s on your mind so you might as well ask.”

Eliot takes a seat and holds on to his cane, “Why do you look so familiar?”

“Because I am the goddess of love and beauty — and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Humans perceive according to who they find most beautiful. So it’s always someone that is familiar. No two people have the same idea of what beauty is. People most of their time see their soulmates — in your case, I figured that would be a bit of cruelty on my part.”

“You do have his eyes though.”

“Your favorite feature.”

“And the rest?”

“The other way people perceive me is the people that they love. It gives them comfort to have someone they love staring back at them or well an amalgamation of them.”

Now that she said it he realizes who she reminds him of. She gives off the same vibes as Margo (and her stature) with a bit of V, Quentin’s eyes, she resembles an old family photo he once saw of his grandmother in her 20s and there’s also hints of his younger brother Patrick. He hasn’t thought of him in ages.

“There’s a lot of people who love you Eliot and there would be more if you let the rest see you.”

“It sounds easy when you say it.”

“Oh I know it’s not — and you’ve been hurt in numerous ways from such a young age that it’s truly a wonder you’ve opened up to anyone at all.”

“So gods know everything?”

“Not quite — I wasn’t lying to Hades when I said you’re one of mine. I find your group honestly fascinating. 40 timelines and you always ended up helping each other and trying to save each other. Did you know that soulmates vary in each timeline?”

“I did not know that,” Eliot says, but it makes sense.

“There are only two marks that were the same each and every time.”

“Oh?”

“You and Margo are always platonic soulmates, no matter the timeline — and you always end up adding Quentin to that. A three-way vine that always flourishes no matter what. Philote, my partner when it comes to these matters, always looked so surprised at that.”

“Don’t you decide who ends up as soulmates?”

“We can give nudges here and there but the magic is set. It corresponds to who you are in your particular timeline.”

“Like Liam and Julia — they were soulmates in 23 but not here.”

“Julia 23 is vastly different from the Julia you know in 40. It is your past, your experiences, your triumphs, your failures that define who you are as a human being. I mean you know this to be true.”

“Do I?”

“You and Quentin lived a whole other life that shaped you in ways that your counterparts in timeline 8, 20, or 36 could never understand. And even the you from before the quest could not understand it.”

Eliot nods, unable to form words.

“And yet you know as well as I do that you cannot be those people again. The ones that grew old together. You _could_ grow old together but the circumstances are different therefore the two of you are different.”

“I know we’re different but that is the beauty isn’t it? We know we can love each other, we know that we can work and that should count for something. Those people existed and they mattered. It wasn’t just a one-off adventure.”

“You didn’t think they mattered much before.”

“I was scared, I’m still scared. I didn’t think someone as wonderful as he would want me full time. Fillory was beautiful as you said but it was technically a bubble. We had each other and we had a task. We managed to have friends and a beautiful family but the stakes were never that high. Actually, you know what? It wasn’t perfect. There was a fight where we didn’t talk for three weeks even though we lived in a cottage that had 2 bedrooms. He’s a stubborn fucker who doesn’t like to be wrong and I am easily wounded and can easily turn to cruelty. There was the time I almost lost him and it scared me more than I ever thought…”

Eliot runs his hands through his hair, “It wasn’t easy — every day was a struggle but we had each other and that’s all that mattered. _That’s all that should matter._ Not if we’re in the Fillory of the past, or Fillory of the present. Not if there's a lot of other people. We love each other, we’ve proven that a million times over. Proof of fucking Concept. Yes, life will be harder because there’s more distractions but there’s also better medical care and I don’t have to run to my neighbor who is 5 minutes away afraid that if I take too long he’ll die. There’s meds and therapy and television…”

“There’s Margo, and Julia and Alice and even Kady and Liam and original Penny. We’re a goddamn messed up family of depressed millennials with more issues than any popular magazine... We might hate each other at least half the time but when we need help they all come. They all came for Quentin. Because Quentin is our heart. _He’s my heart._ I could live without him, it wouldn’t be really life and there wouldn’t be much meaning but I could do it… But the thing is? I don’t want to.”

Aphrodite is smiling at him but Eliot finds he has more to say, “I want my nerd back. I want to yell at him when he’s being unreasonable and make love to him through the night. Argue with him over grilled cheese and whether that Kraft monstrosity even counts — for the record no it does not — I want to hear him rant about terrible movie adaptations and delight in the good ones. I miss the nerd rants and the deviousness — because that man is so fucking devious when he wants to be. He’s a brat and he’s got the biggest fucking heart of anyone I’ve ever met in both my lifetimes. He can be momentarily cruel and petty but he can’t keep it going, he just regrets it. He’s both my opposite and my equal and his body fits in perfectly with mine. I deserve the chance to get to be brave.”

“I love him more than I thought I could love anyone and he deserves to know that. Even if he yells at me or gives me the silent treatment I can take it. Because he’d be alive. I am in love with Quentin Coldwater and I won’t stop until I get him back.”

“Good,” Aphrodite says looking proud of him which confuses Eliot. “What?”

“A lot of people think that love is only the good. That if you love someone you have to be happy with them all the time. You’d be surprised at how many fail at pulling an Orpheus because of minor bullshit. Most don’t even make it through the first requirements. Because love is not always pretty, it’s not an idyllic cottage or a fantasy world. It can be ugly and it bruises easily because most of the time they’re the person who knows you best. Sometimes you hate the people you love.”

“The opposite of love isn’t hate — it’s indifference,” Eliot adds.

“Exactly. Love is just as nuanced as human beings or gods. Some people make the mistake of thinking that hatred is love and stay in terrible relationships, some balk at the first sign of conflict but neither of those is love. Love is putting someone else’s needs above your own, love is arguing without hurting. Love is sometimes hurting those you love because we’re selfish. It’s also waking up and smiling, it’s coffee done just right or marathon sex where you just end up laughing. It’s the big things and the small things, the good and the bad.”

Eliot is just staring as she talks, he can’t help but think of Quentin and things that coincide with the examples she’s giving. He wants all of Quentin, good and bad.

“I wanted to make sure you were aware of what you were signing off on.” “I am.”

“I see that now and so your application has been approved.”

Eliot immediately tears up. He did it. He actually did it.

He gets a chance to get his Quentin back.

“Do I have to sign something or go anywhere?” Eliot asks and Aphrodite shakes her head.

“Normally we’d make applicants go up the stairs and it’s a few steps.”

Eliot groans a bit. That’s not going to be an easy task with his leg.

“But for you — I’ll let you take the smaller route because frankly, it would be inhumane to make you do the long one with your current physical shape.”

Eliot stares at his cane and then back at her.

“I’m not Hades I don’t have a vendetta against your group and I was definitely not fond of Iris or Enyalius so you actually did me a solid there. Bacchus was a nice-ish guy but a poor imitation of Dionysus. Quentin did get rid of the beings for us so for that, I’ll let you take the shortcut.”

“But remember the rules apply just as they did with Orpheus, you cannot look behind to see if he’s following you… you have to _trust_ that he is. Your soulmark won't be of any help because the magic won't come into effect until you're out of this place. There are no loopholes, if you make it out of the Underworld and he follows you then he’s just as alive as you are right now. But the Orpheus Test is one use only. There are no redos this time Mr. Waugh.”

“I understand,” Eliot says.

“Just because it’s shorter doesn’t mean it’s easier it will be just as emotionally hard as the long route would be. You’ll go out the door behind me and the moment you cross the threshold you cannot look back. You’ll get on the moving walkway and wait until it takes you to the top. You’ll see a portal you have to go through. Once you’re in a place you recognize then you can look back but not a minute before. Remember Orpheus made it the whole way and turned back at the last second.”

“We don’t want that,” Eliot mutters and grabs his cane and gets up. He heads towards the door behind her but before he leaves he turns around.

“You didn’t say.”

“Didn’t say what?”

“Who had the other mark that didn’t change?”

“I would have thought you’d guessed it by now — it was you and Quentin. The design wasn’t always the same and you two didn’t always go for it but in every timeline you two are soulmates. I wish you the best of luck,” Aphrodite says smiling at him.

“Thank you again,” Eliot says, she nods and then he opens the door and walks out.

* * *

Margo and the girls are waiting in the hallway outside of the office when Aphrodite comes their way.

“I should have known you’d be here waiting.”

“Julia wanted to ask you about something and I … need to know,” Margo says and Alice squeezes her hand.

“In regards to Mr. Waugh and Mr. Coldwater it’s all in his hands now — he started on the journey I can’t tell you if he’ll succeed or fail because I honestly do not know. But I do hope things go well for them,” Aphrodite says and Margo feels the relief flood her.

They’re getting their nerd back.

She knows deep in her soul that Eliot will succeed.

“I need a word — about my own soulmate,” Julia says and Aphrodite nods.

“Let’s go into an office Miss Wicker,” Aphrodite says, heading towards Penny’s office.

“I’ll see you later,” Julia tells the other two as she follows after the goddess.

Alice turns to Margo and squeezes her hand, “Want to get out of here?”

“More than anything — this place gives me the creeps.”

“Hey, maybe we could watch _Good Omens_ in your apartment?” Alice asks

“I’d love that Miss Quinn,” Margo says as they head back the way they came from.

Liam will probably have to make two trips because she doubts Kady will want to leave when she knows Julia is still in the Underworld but that’s not Margo’s problem. She’s gonna get to cuddle in a bed with a cute girl (who is her soulmate) and wait for a phone call that will tell her that her favorite boys are back.

For once — things are actually looking up.

* * *

Aphrodite had been right — it wasn’t easy. He could literally feel the weight increasing as he got closer to the top. Well, he hopes he’s closer to the top because frankly he’s got no idea how long he’s been here.

He already got tormented by an image of his father, Alice, and Julia, there was a bit of Penny there too. Fogg telling him he was nothing more than a drunk. The hardest one so far had been Margo’s voice.

She’d tell him that she knows he’s going to screw it up, because he screws up everything. He’s just going to hurt Quentin even more than he already has.

He’d closed his eyes and waited for the voice to quiet.

So he’s here on a seemingly endless walkway and he’s not sure if Quentin is even following him, although he hopes he is.

“I’m sorry you know? I am deeply sorry for the way I treated you. To be fair you asked in the stupidest way possible… I mean “why the fuck not” is not a good way to tell someone I love you. That’s more like saying hey do you want to watch Masterchef and you say why the fuck not.”

Eliot laughs at the thought, “We do need to catch up on Masterchef once we’re out of here — if we’re ever out of here.”

He runs a hand through his hair, “The point is that I shouldn’t have been cruel or biphobic — it seemed too good to be true. And yeah I know we had the tattoos but I didn’t know if that was a consequence of just being in Fillory with magic… And you heard Aphrodite well you actually probably didn’t… I don’t think you were there… But the main point was that not everyone has the same soulmate in every timeline… well except apparently _us_.”

“But in my defense, I didn’t know that,” Eliot adds with a bit of a snort, “Anyway I’m aware this is a slight cop-out since you can’t respond but hey at least this way I get a word in… Sorry, terrible joke. I’m nervous and you know my jokes get bad when I’m nervous.”

He looks at his tattoo, it hasn’t changed — not that he expected it to. It was one of the things she had been clear about. The magic will not come into effect until Eliot is fully successful. But still, it’s the first time he doesn’t feel the overwhelming grief when he looks at it. So that’s good, right?

“It feels like I’m justifying myself so I’m going to change gears a bit and tell you things I don’t think you know,” Eliot says holding on to his cane.

“When magic was shut off I obviously couldn’t hide my tattoo anymore — this was before the mosaic by the way — I couldn't understand it. I was like why is it a key? I stared at it as if it had the answers to the universe. And well you know the rules, nothing about the damn tattoos changed while magic was gone. So you could be falling in love and getting to know someone and have no clue… To be fair this wasn’t my case.”

Eliot sighs deeply, “I noticed my tattoo was fully formed and colored in when we came back from Umber’s .. well actually it was after the whole killing them thing and then magic was shut off and I couldn’t get to you and _I knew_. I might not have an idea what the key meant but I knew it was you. I mean I spent weeks doing research trying to get back to you before Margo reminded me I had a country to run. Fairies would always be staring at it you know? It was disconcerting. Then the Great Cock happened and he mentioned keys to magic.”

“I’m not ashamed to say I did not put the two together until… after.”

Eliot holds onto the railing looking directly forwards, he wanted to turn back and look but no he couldn’t. Remember this place is designed to temp you into looking back.

“I never thought I’d have one you know? I was more than okay having the vines from Bambi or well I told myself that. I was not expecting it in the slightest so I didn't even notice when it appeared. It was like 4 days since we'd met when I noticed it. Mostly because the guy I was hooking up with asked about it. I faked disinterest then went and asked Bambi why she hadn’t told me I had a soulmark. Do you know what her answer was? _I thought you knew._ ”

He can laugh about it now but he’s freaked out back then. Because he didn’t know how long it had been there so he had no idea who it was. Well a part of him kept pushing for Quentin but he purposely ignored it.

“I didn’t see yours until the threesome and then I basically convinced myself that I hadn’t seen what I thought I had. And considering my level of fucked-upness during those days? I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself or my eyes. The truth is that I think I was making excuses. After all, it didn’t start filling the colors in until after you’d crowned me. There were so many signs that I refused to see..”

“Would you have talked to me if I asked? This is an even bigger cop-out than the apology. I convinced myself you were Alice’s soulmate and from what Alice says you two had a similar thing. I was too scared to find out I think — even if I didn’t know why. It wasn’t until Margo barricaded herself in her room after… well you know… that I knew she was actually _Margo’s_.”

“I helped bury her — I thought it would be nice. After everything... It was an empty gesture but I wanted to do something.. it’s funny — we both knew what was going on but neither of us talked about it. Margo and I need to get better than that and well so do you and I.”

“I get it — I get why you did it. I understand it,” Eliot says as his voice starts to crack, “But why didn’t you reach out to someone, why did you go to the Seam, why did you listen to Fogg and go off your meds? Why didn’t you ever ask me or Margo or Alice about them? That was four years Quentin… four fucking years. Why did I have to wake up to a world without you? It was like… my worst nightmare came to life.”

He wipes the tears that fell and steadies himself, “I never wanted that — I never wanted your life for mine. I need you in my life Quentin because I love you. I am absolutely in love with you and I cannot imagine going a minute without seeing you or hugging you. I want to hear about your day and hear rants about fictional worlds and characters that I know nothing about. I want to argue with you about food choices and take you shopping. Margo really wants to take you shopping. Buy you pants that are in your size, because no Q — your pants are almost always one size larger.”

“I want to kiss you for the rest of time but if you just want to be friends I can be that too. I’ll be whatever you want me to be just — _stay with me_.”

That’s when a light almost blinds him, it’s the portal. He’s reached the top — just a tiny bit more.

He holds on to his cane and goes through the portal walking forward and he just came through the bushes and then started walking a few steps but then stopped. He is at Brakebills.

Aphrodite definitely has a finely tuned sense of irony, doesn’t she?

He’s afraid to turn around so he keeps walking and makes it to the Brakebills sign. The same one in which he had posed what seems forever ago.

He wants to cry — he failed right? He doesn’t feel any different and he’s too afraid to turn around…

And then a hand grabs his.

Eliot squeezes the hand and then turns around and there he is.

Quentin Coldwater in the flesh and Eliot wants to cry. He feels like he’s cried a lot today but he doesn’t care. Quentin is in front of him, looking healthy and smiling at him. He’s wearing the clothes he was wearing when he died (except for the hoodie) but physically he looks a lot better than he does in Eliot’s memories.

“Am I hallucinating?”

“If you were, how would asking me help?” Quentin answers with a smirk and then Eliot is sweeping him up in his arms and crying. They’re both crying. Anyone passing by is probably like why are two weirdos hugging and crying in the Brakebills sign.

But he doesn’t care because Quentin is in his arms — so everything is okay again. He can feel the world move again when it had previously stopped.

“I missed you — I missed you so much,” Eliot muttered into his head.

“I know... I know — I missed you too... I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I wanted to be there but I… I didn’t even realize what I’d done until I was in an elevator in front of Penny… I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I'm just happy you’re here, you’re here,” Eliot says smiling at Quentin.

“I love you too by the way — I’ve been in love with you for what seems like forever and I also didn’t notice the mark until one or two days afterwards.”

“So I can it’s easy to say you heard everything I said?”

“I heard it all… and my pants are the right size.”

“You keep telling yourself that darling.”

Quentin rolls his eyes but squeezes Eliot's hand, “I want to be with you too El — I want to build a life with you and no it won’t be the same and sometimes we’ll get echoes but I think that’s okay. I believe in us… peaches and plums.”

“Peaches and plums motherfucker,” Eliot says before pulling him in for a deep kiss, to show Quentin how much he loves him, how much he needs him. Quentin kisses him back just as deeply and lovingly.

Eliot puts his hand on Quentin’s neck pushing him closer until they both have to come up for air. Then they just rest their foreheads on each other.

Eliot looks down at his tattoo one more time and the colors are as bright and vibrant as ever — as if it had never been greyed out. Quentin lifts up his sleeve to reveal an equally colorful key with two vines behind it, one is green and the other blue and copper.

“Beautiful,” Eliot says smiling.

“Can we go home now?” Quentin asks softly and Eliot looks at him and his gorgeous eyes.

“Yeah let’s go home.”

They won’t head to the Penthouse as that is not home but rather to Margo’s apartment. Because Margo deserves to see Quentin too. She’ll hug him and cry for around 30 minutes and then deny she’d ever cried. Quentin cried too so it’s okay. Alice will hug him tightly and tell him that he better not do that to her again. He’ll apologize for making her watch.

Julia and the rest will arrive and they’ll be multiple hugs and tears.

Julia and Quentin will spend a while apologizing to each other while the rest look on. Then Julia will tell the group what she talked about with Aphrodite. It turns out that because they cleaned up the monster mess the gods created (and because the Library lied about the cure making any agreements null and void) Penny was returned to them.

Liam and Penny will now be twins according to everyone else.

Eliot and Quentin will spend the night at Margo’s place and then in the morning they’ll get their things from the cottage and the penthouse and take them to Eliot’s apartment. They’ll redecorate together which will lead to quite a few arguments and paint fights when they attempt to paint the walls. They’ll both go to therapy, and Quentin will go back on his meds. They might even adopt a dog at one point. Quentin and Julia will rebuild their friendship and one night they’ll discover new vines for both of them, in golden color.

Margo will bully Fogg into giving them their diplomas and then head for Fillory with Alice. The Fillory clock will remain in Quentin and Eliot’s apartment. She’ll leave a legacy in Fillory and actually set up real democracy with the help of Alice. Then she’ll return happy to embark on a new adventure.

Eliot and Quentin will open up a restaurant and bookstore combo. Kady, Julia, and Penny will help Harriet in reshaping the Library to be what it should have always been. Liam will find his own soulmate and travel the world. Helping out hedges from everywhere he goes (and always be back for holidays and special occasions).

It won’t always be easy — they’ll have arguments and fights but also love and so much makeup sex. Eliot will realize he loves makeup sex (well he loves any sex with Quentin but that’s a given).

But that’s the future, isn’t it?

For now, Eliot will just smile and hug his nerd tightly, because their family is once again complete, and the best part?

The love of his life is in his arms and he’s never letting go again.

**Author's Note:**

> This entire thing happened in like 4 days (the bulk of it) and I am still in awe of that... Also this was a challenge because it's the first Queliot fic I write without a Quentin POV and that was definitely interesting.
> 
> If you liked it please let me know! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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